If Our Candidates Skated.

Every four years America comes together as a country to pick someone to be the puppet  president. This year is quite possibly the most entertaining election to date with the debates sounding more like reunion episode of “* Insert American City* Housewives” which is a jab at the nominee’s debate skills and not Hilary

So we just decided to sum up our Presidency Candidates in a more relatable form as skateboarding stereotypes that we’ve all encountered throughout the years and we’ll let you choose who you’d rather have a session with and smash some brews versus who you would just have to break the news that the whip is “filled’ or just completely vibe out from the jump.

donald trump skate.jpg

Trump the typical skateboard jock bro, bro. He’s great, he knows he’s great, but unlike most sports skateboarding isn’t purely about skill. Here’s a small excerpt on what a session is like with Donald himself.

  • Claims tricks at spots he’s never been too… The 12 rail downtown, Not a problem for the trump. He’s got every trick he’s never done on it. Take him there though it might be a different story than what he said and he will hit you with the “facts”


  • He’s professional as fuck, so professional he turned himself pro. The skateboard industry doesn’t know what they’re talking about. You don’t really need experience to be pro.. That’s old school guys.


  • Never skates the regular skatepark, those are for broke democrats! Public space, who needs it! This is America and its Private business baby. Instead catch trump at his TF with only his team of privileged flow riders.



hilary trasher.png

Hilary the typical skate park lurker, She’ll be at the park from sundown till sunup and definitely attended at least one of the City meetings to get the skate park granted in your city. Sounds good on paper but all that glitters ain’t gold baby. Here’s what cruising around with Clinton could be like.

  •  Skates for ten minutes and is exhausted, it’s all good we get it its hot outside but she been picked up by the ambulance four times this week!  She sort of making it hot for the people smoking backwoods on the benches in the cut.


  • Every trick you’ve ever filmed with her you’ve never received and eventually she just claims been deleted somehow.  Go figure.


  •   Wears helmet at the park , she even brought extras for the whole squad!  Rather be safe than sorry right?


Both sound pretty shitty but unfortunately that’s what we are left with. Choose wisely America. The next session depends on it.

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